My life is one big ball of confusion

My life is one big ball of confusion right now. People weaving in and out of my social life, insecurity over my abilities, stress over family matters, and worry about my future. I feel like I have to figure all of these things out in this short amount of time or they all will explode in my face and I will be left to pick up the millions of pieces. I need to continually remind myself, I am not going this alone. It can all be managed and I don’t have to do it all in the next ten minutes. I may not know what my future holds for me, but I know the One who does, and that should be sufficient enough. 


Natural Beauty

Natural Beauty

Went to the beach on sunday with a friend. We both are so stressed out for somewhat different reasons. But I can’t tell you how relaxing and relieving it felt to be at the beach. Hear the waves crashing on the shore feel the sea breeze and mist. See the beautiful and calming blue of the water and taste the salt on your lips. Most definitely the best place to decompress after a very long and strenuous week and a good place to mentally prepare for another.

“Where are we g…

“Where are we going
Oh I don’t know
But still I’ve got to go
What will become of us
Oh I don’t care
All I know is I’ll go anywhere
Oh Pioneer
So young and brave
Be careful of the careful souls who doubt you along the way”

Song lyrics to the song “Pioneer” by The Band Perry

The truth is, I have no idea where I’m headed off to next. I like to act like I do, or tell myself that I do know to keep the anxiety at bay. A year from now I will either be in a different state or city, or no longer perusing my dance career. Or for all I know in a year, I could be exactly where I am right now.

All I do know is that I will go anywhere and do anything I have to in order to keep living this dream of mine. Im not letting this go so easy. I’ve worked too hard and have come a long way to have it all end so close to my goal. I will pioneer myself a path to get me to where I want to be.

I will have to be brave. The unknown is a very scary and ominous thing. I have a fear of not knowing what is going to happen next. I’m a control freak and want my life to go they way I planned it all out in my head. But life doesn’t work like that. Nothing comes easy, so you have to be courageous and take risks. I will have to get over my fear of the unknown and become a pioneer. Just like the real pioneers did. They traveled this country to find what they where looking for. They had to be fearless. They didn’t have a map to show them where they were going. They were the ones creating the maps and roads as they went on their way. So that is what I will have to do. Be strong and along my way create my own map and roads. Maybe some day someone will use them for their own benefit.

This piece of advice was given to me long ago but has continued to stick with me and motivate me through some rough and discouraging situations. “Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.” Some people try to discourage you because they are jealous, or they are insecure, or just don’t want you to live your dream because they think in the end it won’t be worth it. Then there are the people who don’t want to get your hopes up because they don’t want to see you get hurt if you do fail. So they “loving” discourage you from doing what you want and love to do. Never let anyone’s discouragement keep you from just trying.

This is why I love this song.