Cataclysmic House

She begins to grow even more faint as the monstrous tsunami waves of grievous circumstances continue to crash up against the high walls, eroding them at a distressing rate. It won’t be long till they break and everything the walls are hiding will become vulnerable and exposed. She is not the type of girl to let others see that she has internal demons. It will be the first time that they will be seen by the people who have known her for years. Or so they thought they knew her. She is scared by the storm and by the demons who are torturing her. Her loved ones will be shocked to find self-hate, self-consiousnes, depression, anxiety, envy, and so many other harmful afflictions have overtaken her. The light from her eyes have dimmed and she no longer glows. The menaces inside her, tell her she deserves to wear only the tattered rags that they have given her. They tell her she isn’t beautiful or worthy of love. The worst lie they utter to her is that she does not have a purpose in life, and that she will never accomplish anything that she had dreamed of doing. Lie after debilitating lie, she believes what she is being told. Despair. Thats all she feels, besides the nagging pain of a purposeless and insignificant life.

The great walls she put up around this cataclysmic house, in which she resides, were built to look like love, confidence, abounding joy, peace, and contentment. Walls that appear to be made out of the strongest and sturdiest materials. Frail and feeble are what they truly are. The cement is about to disintegrate as this terror of a storm lashes its fury out on the deceiving bricks of the weary walls who, once so deceptively and energetically guarded the cataclysmic house. All of it was built out of fear. Fear of failure, judgement, and imperfection.

She never wanted to show anyone what has happened to her soul. So she hid it all from the outside world. She wanted to be seen as accomplished and put together and so she built beautiful high walls that gleamed in the sunlight and looked fearsome to sail boats who went by. All who saw these misleading walls, thought a great and powerful lady lived behind them. A duchess with endless riches and virtues, whose life was all put together and never feared a thing. She had everything under control and had nothing to hide. What a brilliant mirage those walls display. This duchess is a damsel in distress in desperate need of saving from the storm and waves about to crush her, and from the devil inside her head.

After the wind, rain and sea have done what they intended to do and nothing is left and everything has been revealed to everyone; there will be a weeping little girl sitting on the bluff where her cataclysmic house and deceptive great wall once stood. Over looking the calm ocean water and clear sky, she will feel relief, contentment, peace, love, joy, and purpose. Her demons will be gone. Taken and beaten down by those who truly love her and the One who created her. She will know no fear or pain because He will have taken that all away from her. She will never need to build walls like that again. For He is enough and completely sufficient. She will want nothing more than to be in His protective arms of love. That is the only place where she will be safe from the storms that surge toward her from the outside, and from the devil who puts lies in her head to hurt her.

She prays that that day will come very soon.

My life is one big ball of confusion

My life is one big ball of confusion right now. People weaving in and out of my social life, insecurity over my abilities, stress over family matters, and worry about my future. I feel like I have to figure all of these things out in this short amount of time or they all will explode in my face and I will be left to pick up the millions of pieces. I need to continually remind myself, I am not going this alone. It can all be managed and I don’t have to do it all in the next ten minutes. I may not know what my future holds for me, but I know the One who does, and that should be sufficient enough. 

We are insignificant

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Even though I haven’t lived that much of my life yet, I have lived enough to know, how small and insignificant I am in the grand scheme of things.

When you are flying in an airplane and look down at the earth below, how can you not be in awe of the vast expanse of it all. It looks like a piece of art work from the sky. Intricate details all wonderfully and effortlessly placed. No human beauty can compare to it and no human being can replicate it.

I like to go hiking, sadly I don’t get to go too often, but when I do I can’t help but feel so tiny surrounded by pine trees, mountains rivers and lakes. They are enormous and far wilder than I am. I mean when was the last time you met someone who is as tall as a pine tree or sycamore? Who can say they are just as colossal as a mountain? No one. And why would you want to be? All I know is, There is something much bigger and grander than us. You can see it when you look at the earth. We are but minuscule creatures living imperceptible lives. Our lives fade away in a short amount of time, but mountains, oceans, forests, rivers, canyons, and lakes will continue to last as long as Earth exists. How can you not believe that there is a higher power when you know these things are true.